#not always consistent with her thoughts and feelings across episodes

[womanaction]

Oh 100% I didn’t mean to imply she didn’t have feelings for him on that level but rather that her other actions didn’t show that she would label him as a “boyfriend” and yet we see immediately in season 7 her thinking back on him as such (predating the soul info) despite the complicated nature of their relationship.

I’m also not sure that “Entropy” reflects any rules of their relationship as much as underlying feelings - she’s hurt because she has feelings for him, just as in Hell’s Bells she’s hurt when he brings a date, but by this point they have “broken up” so he’s not going against any terms of an active relationship. I agree it hurts her because she does have feelings for him, but not because he is her boyfriend (even if he WAS her boyfriend, as she seems to accept later, he isn’t by that point in the narrative).

I’m interested in what you’re referring to in season 6 though, can you clarify?

also it’s weird when people in fandom are so insistent that Buffy and Spike weren’t like “dating” or “together” and like I get that from the text of season 6 but she literally starts out season 7 by talking about dating dead guys plural and how THEY were hotties and throughout s7 she talks about him as her last relationship so. idk if we think of this as a soft retcon or just how buffy thinks about relationships

[goatcheesecak3]

I hate you too Pt.3

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x reader

Warnings: alcohol, brief mentions of nsfw

Fic type: angst, fluff

Summary: both trying to wrap your heads around the situation, you and Adam each reach out to your friends.

A/n: hello!! Probably the last part to this short series, I've had fun writing it though! Maybe I'll try a Lawrence fic next??? Who knows. Anyways, enjoy! :^)

Your heart sank. What the hell kind of sick game was Adam playing with you? Hooking up was one thing, but you'd both poured your hearts out to eachother, you though you had a real connection. You wiped tears from your eyes and gritted your teeth in anger. You needed a friend, a distraction. You called Mark.

"H- hey Mark" you spoke into the phone, sniffling a little and hoping it didn't sound like you'd been crying.

"What's up, y/n?" His voice sounded cheery.

"Look, I don't wanna put you on the spot or anything, man, but I uh... I'm having kinda a bad day, I was wondering if I could come over?"

"Hey, you know you're welcome anytime. Scott's coming over later to watch this lame slasher movie I picked up, it's gonna be a hoot. You should join us!"

His kindness was so jarring I'm contrast to the cold, unfeeling text you'd just recieved from Adam. It almost made you tear up again, but you held it together long enough to set a time, before hanging the phone up.

You made yourself a rather exquisite breakfast consisting of a cigarette, a beer, and several more cigarettes. Following this, you drifted in and out of sleep on the couch while watching episodes of beavis and butthead, and trying your hardest not to think about Adam.

When 6pm rolled around, you finally got yourself dressed and headed out to Mark's apartment.

...

After sending you that awful text, Adam had fallen asleep for a few hours. When he awoke, it was the evening. Despite a full day's rest, he didn't feel any better, in fact, he felt much worse. He knew he'd fucked up, he'd let himself step too far and now he was pretty sure your entire friendship was out the window, let alone any chance at a relationship. He knew deep down this was for the best, or at least he thought so? His head was swimming and he really couldn't make much sense of the whole situation. He had to bite the bullet, and call in for reinforcements in the form of his friend Scott. Adam knew full well that revealing the events that had transpired to Scott would come with a barrage of jokes and teasing, but at the end of it all, Scott was his friend and he'd help him make sense of it all.

...

"Yeah, I can meet you bro. I'm going to Mark's to watch this lame movie, I'll come pick you up and we can talk on the way. We're long overdue for a guy's night"

"Thanks, Man. Yeah, a guy's night sounds good"

Adam was beyond relieved that it would just be the three of them, he couldn't bear to face you right now.

At half six, Scott's beat up old Ford pulled up outside Adam's building, to find him already waiting on the curb, a cigarette hanging from his lips.

"You got one of them for me?" Scott grinned as Adam climbed in.

"Always" Adam obliged, handing Scott a cigarette.

"So," Scott pulled off with a screech, "What did you wanna talk about?"

"It's about y/n"

"What, you hittin that or something?" Scott teased.

Adam's unexpected silence answered that question, as he shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"No. Way. No fuckin WAY dude. Mark totally owes me 50 bucks" Scott gave Adam an affectionate punch in the arm, briefly averting his gaze from the road to see what he expected to be a smug grin plastered across Adam's face. Instead, however, Adam's face told a story of guilt and confliction.

"What? You didn't her pregnant did you?" He sounded genuinely concerned.

"Nah man, nothing like that. It's just... ugh, I don't know, I think I like her? But like, I'd just break her heart if I went there" Adam stared straight ahead as he spoke.

"You don't know that, man just tell her how you feel. At the very least you'll get to see her naked a couple more times before you completely fuck it up." It seemed that Scott possessed the incredible ability to never take anything seriously.

"Yeah... I don't think i can do that. Like, I think I've pretty much nailed that coffin shut"

"Well you certainly nailed something," Scott held out his fist to Adam and grinned to himself.

"Dude, I'm serious"

"So am I! Dude, emotional bullshit aside, y/n's a fuckin smokeshow, and I'm proud of my boy for his achievements"

Adam bit the insides of his cheeks, but couldn't help the smile from creeping across his face. He knew the whole macho bullshit thing was gross and childish, but admittedly, he was kinda proud of himself for sleeping with you. He bumped Scott's fist.

"There he is" Scott chuckled, "so, now that we've got all this acting like a pussy out the way, you're gonna pick up your phone, call y/n and tell her 'I'll be at your place later with condoms and viagra, chug a couple energy drinks 'cause we're gonna go all night'" he joked.

"You know, I think that approach might be a little full on" Adam laughed. "But you're right, I gotta stop being a little bitch about this and tell her how I feel"

"Awesome. Me and Mark can help you plan how you're gonna do it tonight, but you owe us another guy's night if we do"

"How come?"

"Because you're totally acting like a chick"

"Shut up, man. You're an asshole, you know that?"

...

You'd been at Mark's apartment for a little while already, drinking beer and waiting for Scott to arrive.

"Does he know I'm gonna be here?" You asked casually

"You know, totally slipped my mind to tell him. Hell be here any minute, so I guess he'll find out when he arrives" Mark smiled.

As if to punctuate that sentence, the unmistakable sound of Scott's loud footsteps approached the apartment door, followed by a hefty knock.

Mark opened the door, to see both Scott and Adam waiting.

"Oh hey! Guess the whole gang's here" Mark smiled.

The two men entered the apartment, Adam's expression slowly turning to one of dread when he saw you sat on the couch.

"What the hell is he doing here?!"

"What the hell is she doing here?!" The pair of you exclaimed at the same time.

"Oh come on, not this again. Guys, just sit down, relax, have a few beers. I'm too tired to watch you two fight all night" Mark rolled his eyes.

"Won't be necessary" you said coldly, rising to your feet and attempting to barge your way past the men and out of the apartment.

"Ohhhh I don't think so, little lady" Scott scoffed, blocking your exit.

"Scott, I'm warning you, you know I could kick your ass" you bit.

"Be that as it may, you and Adam got a lot to talk about. Now Mark and I are gonna leave for a while, give you two some privacy, and you're gonna solve this" Scott said. Seeing Scott be the voice of reason was like seeing a unicorn, you couldn't believe your eyes.

"Why should I leave? This is my apartment?" Mark argued as Scott ushered him out

"Because you're gonna head down to the ATM and withdraw that 50 bucks you owe me"

"What?" The realisation set in and he turned to face you and Adam, "you two? No WAY!"

"Have funnnnn" Scott mocked in a sing-song voice as he guided a gobsmacked Mark out of the apartment, closing the door behind them on their way out.

The apartment was silent now, you and Adam both stood, stunned, staring blankly at eachother. You would have kept this stand off going on forever, if you weren't so drained. You threw yourself down onto the couch and sighed exasperatedly.

"This is so fucking humiliating" you muttered under your breath.

Adam sat beside you. You held your head in your hands, eyes glued to the floor, but you could feel Adam's gaze burning into you.

"Y/n, I-"

"No, it's fine, like I get it. Last night was a mistake, it didn't mean anything. You don't have to tell me again." You snapped, not wanting to relive the heartbreak.

Adam exhaled

"I didn't mean that" he said quietly, his voice sounding shameful.

Suddenly, something inside you snapped. You were furious, he'd completely devasted you, and now he'd changed his mind?

"Then what the fuck do you mean?!" You blurted angrily, "you hate me one minute, you like me the next. What the actual fuck is your problem, Adam? What is it you want? Because in case you hadn't realised, you've given me some pretty mixed signals in the last 24 hours!"

"I want you!" He yelled "I mean.. I want to be able to want you" his voice was soft, gentle even.

Yours was not.

"Oh my fucking GOD. Do you only talk in riddles or something? What next, do I need to solve a fucking treasure hunt to find your missing brain?!"

"Y/n, no, please just listen.. okay? I just- man I thought I'd have time to plan this" he exclaimed to himself, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Look, if I don't get a straight answer in the next five minutes I'm walking out that door" you said, calmer now.

"Okay.. okay.." Adam breathed slowly, he seemed to be trying to find the words.

"Look," he began, "I'm in the weirdest place emotionally right now, I've always struggled with being vulnerable, but I mean, I'm so much worse these days. Ever since... well, you know..." he bit the inside of his lip and looked ahead, his eyes filled with sadness.

"I'm still trying to get myself back, and I don't know if the part of me that can let people in is ready.

If I let you in right now, I'm scared that I'll only hurt you further down the line, and I could never ask you to just wait around for me to get better."

He stared at the floor and sighed, feeling quite sorry for himself.

You considered what he had said for a moment, before finally speaking, much gentler this time.

"So get better now"

"What? Y/n, it's mot that simple"

"Yes, Adam, it is that simple" you said, your tone kind, but firm. "You say you're trying to get better at letting people in, and in the last 24 hours you've been more emotionally honest with your arch nemesis than you would ever imagine. Sure, it doesn't exactly scream stability, but that's part of the process. You're making progress" you took Adam's hand and brushed your thumb across his skin reassuringly.

"It's not gonna be easy, but if you don't take this chance and let me in then you're not moving forward".

Adam let out a half hearted chuckle, and wiped a few tears he hoped you hadn't seen from his eyes.

"I hate the fact that you're always right"

"Get used to it" you smiled warmly, giving him a playful nudge.

"Okay... so in the spirit of moving forward" he gulped, "would you uhh... be free for date sometime?"

He smiled sheepishly, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket. You noticed that his eyes seemed to look extra sparkly, as if there was hope and excitement in them for the first time in a while.

"I'm free right now" you giggled, placing your hand on Adam's cheek and leaning in to kiss him.

Adam's hands held onto your waist as he leaned into the kiss, gradually pushing you back onto the sofa. He kissed you deeper now, more hungrily, his fingertips were just brimming the hem of your shirt, when...

"Aaaand the two of you can go continue that "date" literally anywhere but my sofa" Mark exclaimed, bursting into the apartment, Scott following giggling like a schoolboy.

"Were you assholes listening through the door?!" You squealed, jumping up and adjusting your shirt.

"Hey, I didn't wanna, but Mark needed proof that he lost the bet!" Scott laughed, barely able to contain himself.

"Dude! Come on, that was priv- wait.. what bet?" You asked, more curious than annoyed by this point.

"I bet Mark that you and Adam secretly liked eachother, and now I'm 50 bucks richer" Scott said proudly.

"Never would've imagined you guys together" Mark admitted, "but you know what, I like this little dynamic. It's sweet, or at least it is when you're not tryna bang on my couch" he teased.

"Sorry about that, man" Adam chuckled, his cheeks reddening.

"Now, come on you crazy kids," Scott said, in a slightly patronising, but good natured tone, "get your asses down to some restaurant or something where you can sit and make googly eyes at eachother before me and Mark throw up"

...

You and Adam walked down the street after leaving Mark's apartment. Your hands brushed against eachother, and without words they were interlinked. Just to think, a couple days ago you would have thrown up at the thought of holding Adam's hand, but now it was all you wanted to do.

"So... a restaurant, huh?" Adam said, swinging your arms slightly.

"Hm" you tilted your head, "orrrrr... we could head back to mine, crack open a bottle of wine on the balcony... maybe fool around a little?" You looked at Adam with a cheeky grin.

"God, you just get me" Adam laughed, placing his free hand on your waist and planting a soft kiss onto your lips.

And it was indeed, a perfect date.

[siampie]

Risk and Reward||Chapter 1: When I Met You

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Summary: You have a hard time settling into your new life but with new acquaintances and newfound friendships. You slowly find your footing.

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains smut (not sure, don’t know how to write it but I’ll try), angst, fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, childhood trauma

A/N: So, this is a first for me. Please be indulgent. I am no stranger to writing fiction. I’ve done it before just not on this platform. Also, this is my first time writing in 2nd POV and for Matt Murdock. There isn’t much of him in this chapter but I hope the small bits I have is as close as it is to his character. I did what I always do before writing fiction, read other writers' work and see how they capture the character and watched videos or episodes to get a good feel of the character. So, I hope you will like it. Feedback is welcome. And just enjoy! Also English is not my first language.

Chapter List || Next Chapter

Masterlist || Join my tag list

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Song the title is referring to:

You gave me a reason for my being

And I love what I’m feelin’

You gave me a meaning to my life

Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing

And it all began when I met you

“Another day, another week.” You whispered to yourself as you stepped in the building where you work. You smiled quickly at the receptionist before making your way to the elevator. After you made the big move across the states, you were lucky to land a job as a proofreader in a publishing house. It wasn’t your dream job but it was the next best thing.

For as far as you can remember, you have always been taking care of your family. Many expectations and responsibilities were put on your shoulders from a very young age. So, when your brother stepped in and decided to move your father in with him, you felt some relief. A load was being taken off of your shoulders. You loved your family. But over the years, you had started to resent them slightly. You resented your father for being sick. You resented him for taking out his bad moods on you. You resented your siblings because they get to live their lives. You resented them for leaving you behind in the dust. You knew you loved them but you resented them. And you didn’t want to hate them. So, you left.

You made the move to Hell’s Kitchen, six months ago and you had big plans. First of which, was to properly kickstart your life. You didn’t think it would be easy. You knew it would have been a challenge but you didn’t think it would be that hard. After six months, you thought you would have made some friends or at least some acquaintances. But shy as you were, and as cautious as you were, making friends did not come easy for you.

You dropped your bag on the ground next to your chair. And dropped your coat on the back of it. Your desk was already stacked with manuscripts that needed to be proofread. You always started your day the same, first you read your emails and answered the most important ones. Then came coffee and then came reading with a red pen. You were to review any typos that may have somehow slipped past the author and the copy editor. You were also to review for issues like kerning and stacking and whether the running head is consistent. Proofreading was the last step before publication. You knew it was an important step, so you did it thoroughly. And you did it well. At least, you thought you did. Your boss had not complained about your work so far. And you took it as a good sign.

One of your coworkers stopped by your desk and softly called your name. You looked up at her. You knew her, you had barely interacted with her a few days before. She had long, red hair, that you loved, and legs for days. Her name was Amelia. A few nights ago, as you were leaving after workhours, she was standing outside of the building. A cigarette between her lips as she was looking for something.

“Excuse me?” She stopped you. You turned to her. “Do you have a lighter?”

“Yeah.” You nodded quickly. Your best friend from high school, had convinced you to buy a pack of lighter once. Telling you that it was the best way to meet people and to make friends. More precisely to meet your future boyfriend. “There you go.” You handed her the lighter.

“Thanks.” She lit her cigarette before giving it back to you. She took a long drag at it. The tension in her shoulders dropped. “I needed that.”

“You’re welcome.” You smiled at her and turned to leave.

“You’re that new proofreader, aren’t you?” She asked you.

“Yeah.” And you gave her your name.

“That’s a pretty name.” She remarked. “I’m Amelia.”

“Nice to meet you.” Amelia was not a proofreader. She was an acquisitions editor. The one, literary agents would come to, to sell a book. The book landed in her hands first, and if they made it past her, they landed in yours last.

You stayed with her long after she finished her cigarette. You walked with her because it was dark out. And Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t the safest place to be after dark. And there was strength in numbers. Coincidentally, your flat and hers weren’t that far apart. So, you walked her home before going to yours.

After that, you had not seen or heard much of Amelia. You thought that was it. But there she was, talking to you.

“So, some of us are going to grab a drink after work and I thought that maybe you would love to join us?” She sat on your desk.

“It’s barely 9 and you’re already thinking about the end of the day.” You scoffed lightly.

“Well, I need something to look forward to.” Amelia laughed. “So, wanna come?”

Your default answer was ready to come out of your mouth. You were already making up excuses to not go. And then you stopped yourself. Why shouldn’t you go tonight? There was no one waiting for you at home. You had no obligations. It could be a fun night out; you could even make a few new friends. Might even start a new friendship with Amelia. After all, she came to seek you out. She wanted to invite you.

“Why?” You had not meant to ask this out loud.

“What?”

“Why invite me? We barely talked to each other? Why ask me?”

“You said you just moved here in Hell’s Kitchen, remember?” Amelia gave you a tight smile. And you nodded at her words. “I figured I do the nice thing and invite you to come with us. Since, you don’t really know anyone here.”

Now, you felt stupid. You could feel your neck and cheeks heat up with your embarrassment. Not everyone was going to hurt you. There were good people in the world, you had to remind yourself of that.

“Sorry.” You apologized quickly. “I—I would love to come.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nodded quickly.

“Good, I’ll come and get you when it’s time to go.”

You pressed your hands against your neck. If you could see yourself, you were sure there would be splotches of red all over it. Of course, you had to go and ask why? If “no” was your default answer most of the time, “why?” wasn’t too far behind. When your niece had first told you she loved you, your first answer wasn’t to say it back. It was to ask her why? And she had answered very sweetly: “Because you’re funny and you give the best hugs. And you always play with me.” And after that you never asked again. You only said it back. Because you did, you loved her very much.

You did not know why you did this. It was almost as though you did not believe that good things could happen to you. And if it did, it was not sincere. It was because someone wanted something from you and once, they got it. They’d leave you high and dry.

As the end of your day was nearing. Your anxiety was starting to get the better of you. You dreaded the moment Amelia would come and pick you up. You had agreed to it earlier because you genuinely wanted to. But now, all you wanted, was to go home. Not because you were drained or overstimulated. No, because you simply did not feel like going anymore. You were hoping she would forget about you. Or at least, it would have been cancelled.

It wasn’t cancelled. And you couldn’t just bail on them. It was the first time, since you arrived in Hell’s Kitchen, that you had been invited to hang out. If you bailed on them now, you might not be invited ever again. So, you went. And who knows, you might have some fun.

“Josie’s.” You read out as you stopped in front of the bar with Amelia.

“Yeah, it’s a dive bar, really.” Amelia told you quickly. “But the drinks good enough.”

“Okay.”

She pulled you in after her. You both stopped at the bar to order your drinks and she then took you to their table. It was a small gathering. You recognized a few people, there was the receptionist; Clara. Then, there was another proofreader, you had interacted with. Barely. His name was Sebastian and some other people. You sat next to Amelia.

As soon as you sat down, they resumed their conversations. You were a silent observer. You laughed at their jokes. You listened intently to what they were saying. And you were really brief when they asked you questions about yourself. And redirected the attention on someone else as quickly as possible. You did not want the spotlight to be on you.

While your coworkers were conversing with one another, you couldn’t help but glanced around you. Your eyes travelled over the numerous patrons in the bar. Bikers, blue collar workers and some white-collar workers. They were many. The bar seemed to be quite successful.

And then your eyes landed on him.

Dark haired, with red tinted glasses and a cane. His plump lips were begging to be kissed, his jawline was to die for. His hair looked soft to the touch and you were itching to run your fingers through them. His shirt was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination. You could tell that he was well built underneath it. And his smile—oh, his smile was the most beautiful, you’ve ever laid eyes on. It lit up his whole face. Made him look younger. He looked perfect in every way.

You quickly darted your eyes away. You did not want to be caught staring. However, it was too late. Unbeknownst to you, Amelia had caught you looking.

“So, you look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Amelia said as she pulled you to the bar, to grab another drink.

“I am.” You nodded. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“No problem.” Amelia nudged your shoulder. “Would you want to do it again sometimes?”

“Yes, but can we space them out?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” She snorted. “It’s only when the urge strikes.” And she turned away from you. She looked over her shoulder briefly. “So, someone caught your eye.”

“What? No.” You answered quickly.

“That’s not what I saw.” She smirked at you. Josie pushed your beers towards you. “You kept staring at glasses over there.” She waved her hand towards perfect man.

“No, I did not.” You protested while pulling her hand down.

“Oh, come on!” Amelia insisted. “It’s not a crime. He’s pretty and you have eyes. It’s okay to stare a little.”

“Stop.”

“But you know what would be even better?”

“I’m going to regret this.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “What?”

“If you spoke to the guy. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Rejection.” You simply answered.

“Well, rejection is part of the game.” She shrugged. You gave out a deep sigh, and put your chin in the palm of your hand. “You got nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

Nothing to lose? Easy for her to say. After all, she wasn’t the one who had her heart broken, so many times, that there was barely anything left of it. When it came to the matters of the heart, you did not think that the risks were worth it. Even if it was for a Pretty Boy.

Your eyes landed on him again, in spite of yourself. His eyes seemed to be on you and Amelia. Almost as though he was directly looking at you. But he was blind, right? That would be impossible.

“You’re staring again.” She teased you. And you turned back to the bar quickly.

“Drop it.” You told her sternly. “It’s not worth it.” Her eyebrows went into her hairline. “Plus, a guy like him would never go for a girl like me.”

“What? Beautiful and sweet?”

“I’m not beautiful. I’m not ugly but I’m not beautiful. I’m average at best.” You shook your head. “And I’m not sweet.”

Amelia looked at you baffled by your defensiveness over compliments. You acted as though she insulted you. She pushed your beer away from you.

“First, those were compliments and not insults. So, take them.” Amelia said. “And why would he go for someone else when he could go for you?”

“You’re being this nice to me over a lighter?”

“It’s not just about the lighter.” She told you. “You walked me home. You didn’t have to but you did. It was very kind and sweet. Thus, proving my point. You are sweet.”

“It was practical. My flat isn’t too far away from yours. And it was as much for your safety as it was for mine.” You shrugged. “It’s dangerous at night in Hell’s Kitchen.”

Amelia rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration. “You are going to take that compliment. I will beat it into you, if I have to.”

“That would be assault.”

“You thing you’re funny, uh?”

“I think I’m adorable.”

“Bitch, you’re testing my patience.” And that got a laugh out of you. She shook her head and laughed with you. “You really are annoying.”

“That’s more like it.” You grinned at her. “Want me to walk you home again?”

“Yeah,” She nodded and clinked her beer with yours. “We finish our drinks and then, we’re good to go.”

“Okay.”

She waved her finger at you. “But this conversation is not over.”

“What conversation?” You retorted, taking on a faux air of innocence.

Amelia glared at you which elicited a chuckle out of you. “Put a few drinks in you and you turn into a comedian. Who would have thought?”

“I could have mentioned it. Save you some time.”

“Do you need to have an answer to everything?”

“Should I answer that or--?”

“Oh, shut up.” And you snorted.

She raised her beer to her lips and toss it back. She gulped the rest of the bottle down and slammed it back onto the counter. Both of your empty bottles were left on the counter and you walked back to your small group of friends. On your way there, your eyes automatically found Pretty Boy, once again. Again, his gaze seemed to be on you and you dropped your eyes to the ground immediately. Feeling guilty that you were staring again, you let out a long sigh and muttered to yourself. “If he’s ever going for someone, it would be for Amelia.”

“There you go.” Amelia handed you your coat and bag. “What are you muttering to yourself again?”

“What do you mean again?” You asked stunned, blood rushing to your neck and cheeks. “You caught me doing that a lot?”

“You are not really trying to hide it.” Amelia shrugged. “So, what was it?”

“Nothing. It was nothing.” You pouted while you put on your coat.

“Was it about Pretty Boy?” She smirked at you.

“Oh, stop!” You said as sternly as possible with your lips jutted out in a pout. “It wasn’t about Pretty Boy.”

“Hmm,” She nodded smugly. “I’ll pretend I believe that.” She laced her arm with yours as you both exited the bar.

“He is really pretty.” You smiled shyly. Amelia’s shoulder nudged yours, as she giggled along with you.

“Next time, we see him. You’re talking to him.” You groaned at her words.

That night was the first time, you ever laid eyes on him. And you thought it would be the last time.

What were the chances for you to stumble upon him in this city ever again? He could be living outside of the city. Or it was only chance that brought him there tonight. And this was a once in a lifetime chance to meet the love of your life. And you blew it.

“Shut up!” You groaned as you slapped your forehead. “I did not blow my chance because there wasn’t one to begin with.”

“Voices in your head?” Amelia put down the lighter next to you.

“They’re really loud today.” You shook your head. “And you don’t have to bring it back all the time. You can keep it.”

“I won’t have an excuse to come and see you. anymore”

“You don’t really need one.” You sighed.

“True.” She smirked. “Wanna go to Josie’s tonight?”

“What are we celebrating?” You retorted.

“Nothing.” Amelia shrugged. “I thought maybe we could blow off some steam.” She shrugged and sat down on your desk. “Seeing as those last two months were kinda crazy.”

“Yeah, they were.” You agreed. “I mean we are nearing the end of the season.”

As it were in the publishing world, books are published in a three-season cycle: Winter, Summer and Fall. Winter season came to a close by the end of April and the datelines were getting closer. For the last two months, you and your team had been working nonstop. You and the author of the book you were proofreading, were going back and forth about editing issues he had. And his anxieties regarding the matter were also affecting you. Under pressure and anxious, you and your coworkers had no time to go back out.

“I could use the break.” You leaned back in your chair. “And a couple of beers.”

“It’s a date.” Amelia got back on her feet. “Meet you by the reception desk.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Amelia and you were on the sidewalk in front of Josie’s. She was smoking a cigarette before you both get in.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Amelia asked you.

“I like the smell of it.” You shrugged.

She took another puff before she elbowed your side. You glared at her.  Her pointy elbow dug into your side painfully. “What’s that for?”

“It seems you’re in luck tonight.” She looked down at you. And with a jerk of her head, she indicated at something behind you.

You turned around and there he was. Tapping his cane on the sidewalk, holding the arm of a beautiful blonde. There was a man, blonde also, walking on his other side. Pretty Boy’s tie was loose around his neck and slightly crooked. A giant smile was on his face as the beautiful lady on his side threw her head back in laughter. You kept your eyes on their little group as they disappeared into the bar.

“Alright, tonight’s the night.” Amelia took a last puff out of her cigarette.

“What?” You turned to her confused.

“We agreed that next time we see him here, you would talk to him.”

“I did not agree to anything. You agreed with yourself.” You told her as she started to drag you toward the bar. “Amelia, stop!” You pulled your arm away from her.

“What are you so afraid of?” Amelia huffed in annoyance.

“Rejection. Humiliation. Mortification. Embarrassment.” You started to list out.

Sure, he was handsome. He was painfully handsome. And although, you had thought of his lips on yours, of his hands running through your hair as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear. Your hands flew to your ears at the thought. They warmed up as your blood rushed to them. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t talk to him.

“I’m perfectly fine with watching him from afar.” You said quietly, dropping your hands. “Can we go somewhere else, please?” You crossed your arms over your chest, making yourself as small as possible.

She dropped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side. “We already here, so we might as well go in.” You started pulling away from her. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. Relax.” She pulled you back in and turned you towards the doors.

“Promise?” You put your pinky out.

“Promise.” She hooked her pinky with yours.

In most situations, you weren’t afraid to go after what you wanted. Of course, you had to pass it through a few people first. Just to make sure you were making the right decision. Especially, when it came to your job. But when it came to relationships—romantic ones, you never took the first step. You were always afraid that the people you wanted—you desired—wouldn’t want you back. Which explains your lack of experiences when it came to dating. And the disappointing sexual experiences you had.

You sat at the bar and ordered your beer. Amelia sat beside you but kept looking over her shoulder. You turned briefly to where she was looking. And surely enough, she was looking directly towards Pretty Boy and his friends. You sighed and turned back around.

“You promised, remember?” You told her. “Pinky promised. Those are sacred.”

“Yeah, I know.” She pouted and turned back around. “You’re going to regret it later.”

“Don’t I know it?” You exhaled deeply.

How many times have you let someone go before you were too afraid to speak? How much longer will you stay up at night wondering about what ifs? How much longer will you stand in the way of your own happiness? How much longer will you live in fear?

There was comfort in fear. It kept you on your toes. It told you where the edge was. It helped you survive. There was nothing wrong with fear. There were no broken hearts, no hurt feelings. It was safe.

And yet—you wished you could take that step. You knew you could. You’ve done it before. You left the comfort of your home. Of everything you’ve known to come here in Hell’s Kitchen. What was the worse that could happen in talking to him? Nothing, right? It was just talking. A simple conversation between two people. Or maybe, you would just give him your number. He could call you if he wanted to. If not—well, you would keep wondering why he didn’t call you. The thought of it was torture enough.

You glanced back over your shoulder at Pretty Boy. He was no longer sitting with his friends. His coat was still there on the back of his chair, but he was gone. You turned back to your drink, and sorrowfully starting to play with the condensation on your beer.

“What can I get you, Murdock?”

“Just another beer, Josie, thanks.”

You turned your eyes towards the voice. And there he was. So, much more handsome up close. His voice was nice and deep. Music to your ears. You turned your eyes away from him. Your heartbeat was now racing in your ribcage. You looked up at the ceiling, searching for some sort of answers.

“Hey, I’m gonna go out for a smoke.” Amelia announced slamming her bottle on the counter.

“I’ll come with you.” You squeaked out.

“You should definitely stay and enjoy yourself.” Amelia pulled her hair out of the collar of her coat. “I’ll be back in a moment. You should—you know strike up a conversation or two.” And she pointedly looked at the man by your side.

You gasped as she left. “You promised!” You called after her. “Pinky promised.”

“What did she promise?” Pretty Boy asked you. A grin plastered on his face.

You took a few minutes to answer, your eyes following Amelia’s exit out of the bar. And let out a breath. “To not make me do something I didn’t want to do.”

“And what was it? The thing you didn’t want to do.”

You couldn’t help the small grin that came onto your face before you answered. “Striking up a conversation with someone.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Why not?”

“It’s kind of terrifying for me to—talk to people.” The blood was rushing to your chest, your heart was slamming against your ribcage.

“You’re talking to me now.” His voice seemed lower as he spoke.

You scoffed. “True. I am.”

“How does it feel?” His lips twitched up at the corners.

“Not as terrifying as I thought.”

He chuckled. And you smiled at the sound. “I’m Matt.” He extended his hand out to you.

You put your hand in his. Your breath hitched in your throat as your skin touched his. You cleared your throat before giving him your name.

“You have a pretty name.” He told you.

“You make it sound prettier.” You quipped back, feeling braver now. His eyebrows flew high on his forehead before he let out a laugh. You laughed along with him. “Nice to meet you, Matt.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.” He nodded, this boyish grin never leaving his face.

That was the night you officially met Matt Murdock. It wasn’t as daunting as you thought it would be. In fact, speaking with Matt came easy to you. His eyes were unseeing and yet, they were always on you. And for once in your life, you did not mind the attention.

You didn’t think anything life altering would come of it. If anything, you thought you were gaining another friend.

Little did you know…

Chapter List || Next Chapter

[i-spy-a-star]

Stream of conciousness musings after seing TADC episode 4. Spoilers for everything so far I guess. Sorry for any typos.

I absolutely love how the show recontextualises, what in a less thought out and more mean spirited show would be nothing more than cartoony physical gags, into meaningful representations of the personal struggles the characters are going through.

Kingers seemingly random bout of lucidity when under the bucket in episode 2. And him glowing when holding his breath being unceramoniously listed as his variant of a digital quirk everyone has a version of. Zoobles body parts being swapped out every episode. Gangles comedy mask breaking resulting in her experiencing a completely different, and more saddened/stressed mood.

Kingers atributes allow for some beautiful imagery, with him both metaphorically and literally being Pomnis guiding light out of hell, with the bittersweet knowledge that him doing this (not thinking and giving off light) doom him to forget the time they shared together.

Zooble is trapped in a cruel irony of being able to literally swap parts of their body to address their gender/body disphoria, but still never being able to find what is right for them, despite the seeming abundance of options that Caine assumes they'll be satisfied with.

Gangle's physical masks are also literal emotional/psycological ones, which don't seem to hold up to Jaxs antics. But even with a stronger mask, position of authority, and a physically larger sillouette granted by the uniform, she still doesn't feel liked, respected, or truly happy. And the brief moment of unmasked joy gets cut short, bring her back to the unhappy unmasked frail form we are used to seeing her with.

All of this is quite obvious when looking at the episodes that focus on each character, but it would have taken a lot of planning, thought, and effort on the writers part to have all this be evident and consistant, and I love it. These characters have always been complex and it's so obvious in hindsight. (Or maybe everyone already figured it out beforehand and I'm just bad at reading them) And all this in so few episodes.

It makes me wonder what the rest of the characters are going through and how their designs and quirks represent it. Can we figure it all out before it is explicitly revealed? Like, Ragatha is a ragdoll. And across the episodes she experiences physical pain (being glitched by abstracted kaufmo, and being thrown in a deep fryer) and in both cases, no one actually tries to help her for prolonged periods of time. But being impaled/stabbed seems to not hurt her (or at least she doesn't obviously show it), and seems to be a reoccouring motif (It's in ep 2, 2-3 times though I think that also happens to kinger once and it did hurt him? in her merch and in the character intro video) Honestly I was hoping I'd figure something out while typing but I'm all out of ideas. I feel like theres a connection? Maybe? It seems to be a consistant theme at least? Ragdolling in videogame terms involves being physically thrown around? Someone theorise for me!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What are your opinions on more „popular“ salt takes about Adrien and Mari, like the typical „Adrichat is an ass for for flirting with LB after she rejects him“ and „Maribug us a horrible stalker“?

Well, I'd be lying if I said that I have no idea where they're coming from. There are definitely times when I'll watch an episode and wonder what in the world the writers are trying to do, especially when it comes to Adrien's behavior as it's played a lot more straight than Marinette's. While I don't like her behavior at times, it's almost always treated as a joke, not a dramatic character beat whereas I cannot say the same for Adrien.

But these are characters in a TV show, not real people and we need to keep that in mind when judging them. It's why my go-to thought is "what is wrong with the writing staff" and not "Adrien is an incel." Because Adrien is very clearly not supposed to be an incel. Unless the writers are plotting something truly asinine, the Love Square is our end game couple. We are supposed to view Adrien as a charming and funny romantic lead. When he falls short of that role, it's not Adrien "showing his true colors." He's a fictional character. He has no true colors. If his actions and words are ever unbecoming for a romantic lead, it's because the writers are failing to write Adrien the way they want us to see him.

They consistently do this to all of the characters. Alya's supposed to be an awesome friend and a smart journalist (I think), but she can't see through Lila's BS. Marinette's parents are supposed to be loving and supportive, but they randomly believed that their daughter stole from their bakery to make a dress and didn't even try to let her explain herself. Nino is supposed to be the Chosen of Protection, but he didn't care to protect his best friend and just happily sent Gabriel on a rampage without a second thought.

Give me a character and I can point to a bunch of episodes that justify every salty take this fandom has because they're not pulling this stuff from thin air. They're picking and choosing the worst writing in the show and venting about it, which is frankly understandable. Like I get why there are so many Alya salt fics. Her writing in the Lila episodes is infuriating and I do find those fics a little cathartic at times. But it's really, really obvious that she's not supposed to be a terrible friend. She's a victim of the writers drawing the Lila plot line out for far too long and making Lila's lies far too obvious.

Similarly, a lot of the issues with Adrien and Marinette stem from the fact that you simply can't draw a romance plot out for five seasons without causing issues unless you make the romance a background plot. But they didn't do that. The love square is front and center for most episodes, but since it can't actually resolve, the writers keep adding drama that makes our leads feel horribly unhealthy.

On the Marinette side, her not being able to talk to Adrien was fine as an initial issue, but we are five seasons into this show. Over 100 episodes! You reach a point where it stops being cute and starts being concerning. It's also not helped by the fact that Marinette's crush is written like a celebrity crush and not a crush on someone she actually knows. Daily exposure to Adrien should mellow her out. Especially since he's supposed to be her friend! But if the writers let Marinette talk to Adrien, then they'd grow closer and might feel like they had to get together, so they couldn't let that. Thus Marinette being a disaster for four seasons and the terrible shoehorned plot to try and justify it in season five.

On the Adrien side, they let Chat Noir confess too soon. Prior to that, the Ladynoir relationship was a playful one where it was feasible that Ladybug just viewed her kitty as a massive flirt. This was especially true since he flirts with everyone. But once she knew that he was serious? The playfulness vanished and Chat Noir started coming across as entitled and pushy. It didn't help that they had him ignoring her preferences ("Don't call me Bugaboo") and getting them in trouble by not taking his job seriously (his flirting getting them hit in Oblivio).

In summary, the love square should have been resolved much sooner or been relegated to a b plot that got far less attention. I also would have reversed the square since it makes for a far more interesting story that you can organically draw out longer, but that's just me. I don't have any issue with people ignoring the canon problems and just writing Adrien and Marinette as the cute couple that they were obviously intended to be. I also enjoy fics that treat Adrien's pushiness as a character flaw that can be resolved because that's what canon should have done. His issues aren't the mark of a terrible person. They're the understandable flaws of a teenager who is in love for the first time and doesn't know how to express himself. If a show would actually address this kind of common tween/teen issue, then a lot of kids would get an incredibly valuable lesson that would help them when they grow up and fall in love. If you're ever watching Miraculous with a kid, I strongly encourage you to approach Adrien's character from that perspective. Talk about why his actions are understandable, but ultimately wrong and more likely to push someone away than win their heart just like we see with Ladybug.

[seventhdoctor]

A Trapezoid of Foils: Judai/Yubel and Amon/Echo

I'm back on my bullshit, and my bullshit is yelling about the trashfire that is Judai Yuki and Yubel. This post is a collection of thoughts on how Amon and Echo were clearly meant to reflect Judai and Yubel in some way or other, and how it feels like it should be neater than it is. The parallels are there, but it's not fully symmetrical and some of the angles are kind of weird...so yeah, kind of like a (non-isosceles) trapezoid!

(Geometry Tumblr do not @ me, I'm doing my best with this metaphor)

Spoilers for GX season 3, naturally. I haven't said it before, but for this post as well as previous ones I'm basing all information and characterization on the sub version of GX rather than the dub (which drastically changes Yubel's backstory and motives).

Yubel and Amon

This is the most obvious one, because Yubel spends two whole episodes and honestly some of their most iconic monologues trying to tear Amon down after building him up the whole season.

They're both antagonists willing to cause harm to the one they love for their goals. For Amon, that goal is the power to build a utopia. For Yubel, the harm is the goal - or at least, the metric by which they will have achieved their goal (showing their love for Judai).

Yubel, of course, claims that Amon is more selfish in his use of harm. Pain is love in their philosophy, but it's mutual pain - dishing out the pain without taking any back would only be mere cruelty. This of course misses the nuance that Echo wanted Amon to use her as a sacrifice, while Judai didn't welcome any of Yubel's twisted affections.

Still, from what I've seen most people agree that Yubel comes across as more "honest" one way or another. And to understand why things feel that way, it's important to look at their backstory and motivations, as well as how their motivations change.

Yubel dedicated themself to Judai's past life, tying themself to him through lifetimes, and in the present remained true to that devotion in unwanted ways. When Judai sent them to space and it ended up being Oops! All Torture, Yubel developed their sadomasochistic philosophy as a coping mechanism and an attempt to reconcile Judai's past promises and present actions.

Upon their return to Earth, they planned to return the "favor": by sending Yubel to the pain and isolation of outer space Judai made them stronger (i.e., infected by the Light of Destruction, with all that entails), so they'll give him his own painful experience (all of season 3) to make him stronger (awaken his power as Supreme King). Then they'll reunite, having both demonstrated their love for each other, and [this part is where the Light of Destruction really twists up their thinking]. Everything they do is in the name of this motive*, whether Judai really likes it or not.

Amon dedicated himself to the Garam conglomerate with Echo by his side before being replaced by his younger brother Sid, the sole blood Garam sibling. He nearly murdered Sid before changing his mind and dedicating himself wholly to his brother instead, a decision Echo and Yubel both describe as willingly chaining himself to their service. Even when given an opportunity to become the heir (all it'd take is watching his brother die to illness, not even murder) he rejects it, and begs for a way to save him.

And yet, when when given the opportunity he made a deal with the devil to break the chains he put on himself and abandon that same family. Then when he gets the chance to obtain power by sacrificing someone he loves, he does exactly that. Then he plans to become king of a utopia free of suffering, and always remember Echo.

So then, what are Amon's motives? Is he somebody who got tired of being abandoned or unappreciated? An ends-justify-the-means idealist? Just a power-hungry hypocrite? It's hard to tease out a consistent character and ideology from him. And in a show where people wear their hearts in their decks, I think this part of why people hate him - and so does Yubel.

Yubel hates Johan because he's terrifyingly like Yubel in some ways, focused and protective and dear to Judai.** Yubel hates Amon because he can't be like Yubel at all, resenting the brother he dedicated himself to and sacrificing the person he loved for power in an empty world forever devoid of that same person.

No way Yubel can be that kind of person, right? Otherwise, what was it all for?

* To be fair, you don't know all of Yubel's backstory by the time of their final duel with Amon. However, even removing the context of their past life that duel together with Yubel!Johan vs. Hell Kaiser establishes Yubel's central motivations more coherently than they do Amon's.

** Help, I know there's been other essay segments on this topic, text and video alike. But I saw a lot of them back in early 2023 when I was mindlessly going through GX material in a haze of hyperfixation and now I've forgotten all the other good sources.

Yubel and Echo

If Yubel's parallels with Amon are about their dedication, Yubel's parallels with Echo are about who they're dedicated to. Both believe in their loved one's destiny to become a king, and take actions to make them that king.

Yubel has historical basis in that Judai is quite literally the Supreme King, bearer of the gentle darkness. To help him achieve that role, Yubel enacts a plot to break Judai until he awakens his Supreme King side. It fits neatly into their schema of things: this is how they make the person they love stronger, so that they will thrive and survive. Make Judai stronger and awaken his old power, and all will be as it was meant to be.

Echo just believes that Amon is amazing enough that he would make a better king than anyone. When the chances arises to help break his chains and give him a world to rule, Echo takes it.

...And boy does she.

Both Yubel and Echo believe their loved ones are meant to be a king. Both give their lives in support of their loved one, and become weapons wielded in their service.

No wonder Yubel was shaken by Echo's devotion remaining within Exodia for just a moment - it's not all that far from their own.

Unfortunately Yubel's only direct interaction with Echo is goading her attack on field-Yubel during the final Amon duel. Otherwise they only speak of Echo as someone used and abandoned by Amon - which in itself has potential, given Yubel's own feelings about Judai sending them away.

I think GX could definitely have explored this connection a bit more. There's space to fill here.

Judai and Amon

As noted above, Judai and Amon both have roles as kings - at least, in the eyes of their single most loyal people. Judai holds the title of Supreme King as the wielder of gentle darkness, and while not confirmed his past life sure looked like a prince. Amon simply has ambition, talent, and an ideal world in his mind.

And in operating with the ambition of kings, they both do terrible things to achieve power. Judai lays this out explicitly in the Edo vs. Amon duel:

Amon lets his need for power get in the way of his other relationships and priorities, and sacrifices the ones he loves to obtain Exodia similarly to how Judai sacrificed his friends and eventually uncountable innocents for his own goals - finding Johan, and then ruling as Supreme King. Straightforward, right?

But I think there's another parallel between the two that's a lot more interesting. Or...most of a parallel. Namely, their relationship with their other halves and the responsibility of a loyal follower who would give up anything for you, be it their life or their humanity.

What do you do when the person you love most dedicates their existence to you - to the point of throwing everything else away, even their very life?

Of course, the Judai-Yubel and Amon-Echo situations aren't exactly the same even putting aside the issue of reincarnation. (For the purposes of this essay I'm not making huge distinctions between Judai and his past life, but if you want to get into the details I've written about that previously.)

Yubel went ahead and made their sacrifice without Judai's input, and all he could do was decide how to respond. He chose to dedicate himself back to them so hard it crossed lifetimes, so hard he chose to risk his own existence for them as well in his next life.

Amon, on the other hand, is the one who proposed Echo sacrifice herself for him. Echo agreed to it, and even by the end she stood by her decision. But Amon loaded the gun and pulled the trigger.

He tries to honor her sacrifice, of course. He's always mindful of Echo's sacrifice and what it means. But in the end, he did choose to sacrifice her, ultimately using her as a pawn. Their love never trumped his own objectives.

And I think the example of Amon and Echo leads to the question: if Judai had the choice of letting Yubel become a dragon or stopping them, what would he do? When it was explicitly their will?

This is another missed opportunity, one that could have solidified the parallels neatly. But GX never asks that question, so the answer is unclear. What could have been a parallel is just kind of...askew.

Judai and Echo

Okay, I admit there isn't a lot here off the top of my head. Probably the best parallels between them are in relation to their other halves, as the people "harmed" by their villainous partners, and how they respond to that harm.

Judai rejects Yubel's torments as unwanted attention, until he remembers the past and flips to understanding why Yubel did they did and makes moves to unite the two of them forever. Echo, meanwhile, understands Amon's motives from start to end and...lets herself be sacrificed, the end.

I don't know about this one. Really, ultimately Echo is supposed to be a willing participant in her own sacrifice but in the end I still don't feel like the narrative gave her a strong sense of agency in the matter and it really weakens my attempt to write this section.

In Conclusion

Some of these connections are stronger than others for sure, but I argue that they're all there in some way or another. They're very uneven and overall I'm not entirely sure what you're meant to take from the parallels, and I wish I could give something neat and concise for this section. Instead, it's a bit messy and misshapen - hence, the trapezoid metaphor.

Still, I think there's interesting room for thought in this awkward space. I was certainly thinking about these parallels while working on the latest chapter of Need (accidental last-minute plug?) and trying to figure out exactly what the prince felt while Yubel was in the middle of dragon surgery. What must it be like, to be in these relationships of sacrificial devotion?

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode seven thoughts

hey what if i cried. what if I lay down on the floor and curled up in a ball and wept and wailed my little heart out?? what then???

ohhh my god. oh my god. i've said like twice now that this show keeps giving me everything i've ever wanted but it just keeps being true!!! i'm going to sob how does every episode just keep getting better How do the writers know exactly what i want and then do it better than i thought of are they in my head??? oh my godddd this episode was devastating

hey i'm gonna cry. what do you mean edwin died scared and alone so he made sure charles didn't. that's devastating actually!!! he died in the dark and he was scared and he had no one, so he brings charles a lamp and answers his questions about ghosts and reads him a detective story with silly voices. what the hell that's so. i do not have words for this it hits so deeply!!! edwin is so deeply kind in a way that doesn't always come across because he's also a prickly bitch, and i love him so much holy shit

hell was genuinely so unsettling what the fuck. the spider MADE OF DOLL HEADS(??!!!?!?!?!?!) was bad enough, but it was such an incredibly good choice to have it appear empty on the way in and only be able to see all the suffering on the way out. it really upped the creep factor in the first part, and then really made the escape feel frenzied. very well done!! the imagery was insane, i really Believed that this was Actual Hell

actually on that point. there was one detail that meant so so much to me, in a way i'm not quite sure how to explain but will give my best effort. after edwin's conversation with simon, after they reach some kind of closure, the blue light implying that simon is able to move on in some way and maybe leave hell... if someone wasn't raised christian & subsequently deconverted idk if that stands out to anyone else, but. okay basically there's a conversation about how hell, by definition, cannot be just because it's infinite punishment for a finite crime. and that wasn't necessarily the point of the scene, but as someone who's been doing a lot of unpacking stuff around this recently it just. it hit hard man. in a good way! that scene actually means so much to me... god this whole episode is fantastic

crystal confronting daniel!!! my god i am so proud of our girl!!! yess take your agency back and regain control of your life!!!!! also jenny frequently being annoyed by crystal but still following her to a spooky abandoned area with a knife just so she won't have to face her abusive ex alone... god i love jenny. like yeah she's abrasive and kinda a dick but also she truly cannot stop herself from providing support to these two weird as hell teenagers living above her shop.

AND NIKO!!!! god niko was absolutely brilliant this episode... absolutely the mvp of the entire show goddamn, she really read the rules and made that the night nurse's problem <3 i love that for her so much. however i will say something has been worrying me. that magic 8 ball that's supposed to tell you when you're going to die has apparently been consistently saying 'outlook not good' and it's been mentioned twice now. and given that this show doesn't establish things like that and let them go to waste... i am Concerned. not to mention, the scene where it was her and the night nurse talking about zombies?? like idk it could be nothing!!! but also that is classic foreshadowing so i am simply concerned!!!

alright i got most of the immediate thoughts CONFESSION SCENE. HOLY SHIT. okay so i know i'm not super into confessions and i tend to nitpick when fictional characters behave certain ways pertaining to romance depending on whether the narrative promotes it or not (yes, i have a complicated relationship with romance, it came free with the demiromanticism. but also my partner is amazing so if written characters aren't that's just kinda a skill issue? lol). ANYWAY. this scene though was amazing. edwin tells charles how he feels, putting no pressure on charles to respond or feel the same. and charles clearly isn't sure how he feels- it doesn't seem like he's ever thought of edwin in that way before, and he's awkward about it but still assures edwin that even if he doesn't know if he can return those feelings, edwin is still incredibly important to him and nothing's gonna change that.

god it's just. such a good way to handle that scene!! literally everything i hoped for ^^ even if charles doesn't feel the same (which i didn't think he would given they've been hinting at romance with crystal and not building romantic feelings towards edwin the same way they've been building edwin's feelings for him but as always who knows) he still reaffirms how much he cares about edwin, because like i've been saying they're the most important person to each other and it truly does not matter if it's platonic or romantic!!!

i also love how well this lined up with established characterization haha. like, of course charles made a deal with the night nurse and leaped into hell headfirst and alone to rescue edwin, he's impulsive even when he isn't emotionally compromised and he'd never abandon his best mate. of course niko tries to connect with the people around her and ends up being incredibly helpful with a unique insight, that's what she's been doing this whole time! of course crystal runs off to find her own way to hell after being stopped from accompanying charles, she hates feeling useless and consistently endangers herself for the sake of her friends. of course edwin tries to convince simon to escape hell with him, he's heartbreakingly good and has spent the whole show trying to help people no one else can. it's all so... god, they are who they are and i love them so much

anyway i will leave u all with a funny thought i had. i haven't engaged with the fandom outside of my pal noble sorry if this is a joke everyone is already making

the cat king: i'll be here waiting when he escapes hell again, god i'm such a romantic meanwhile, charles breaking into hell:

[italiansteebie]

Love on Screen

Welcome to my Streamer au :-) Episode One, also on ao3 (Preferred format)

Steve sighed as he opened his laptop, clicking on the ‘Youtube’ icon and pulling up his channel. He likes his job, really he does. But so many people do the same thing that he’s honestly running out of ideas. Luckily, his subscribers seem to enjoy the weird ass shit he’s been putting out lately. In the last one, he’d made a bed out of cheese for his cat, the only issue was, was that she wanted to eat it, and if you don’t know, cat’s are lactose intolerant, so what started as a stupid video turned into him vlogging how to clean cat diarrhea of a carpet.

His subscribers thought it was hilarious, paying no mind to his discomfort, moreso worrying about piggy, his cat, and how her tummy was doing. She’s fine. Just a little dramatic. So with a lack of ideas, he goes lives. “Hey. How’s it going, chat? Look, I really need some new ideas because honestly, I’m bombing here.” And like always the chat blew up with responses, ‘call robin!’ and Steve snorted, “call Robin? Fine?” He picked up his phone, tapping Robin’s contact and waiting for it to ring.

“What?”

“That’s real nice, Rob. What a way to answer your best friend.”

“You aren’t my best friend, Nancy is.”

Steve scoffs, “Whatever, say hi to chat!”

“Seriously? This is the content y’all like? God, give him good ones, like getting a life.”

“I have a life, okay? Just because I don’t-”

“Your life consists of bugging me and Nancy, now get off live and think of some real idea’s, Steve!” Her tone was accusatory and Steve didn’t have a chance to answer before she hung up on him. He sighed, looking into the webcam, “Well. You heard her. I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye chat!” He ended the live and shut his laptop with a huff. He pondered for a moment, before deciding to scroll, what better way to come up with ideas than to scan and see what’s trending, right? 

He knows it’s a lazy tactic but, hey. He’s been doing this for years, there’s only so many ideas a brain could hatch. Maybe he could play a new game? Nah, he’s played all the good ones. Maybe he could play a really bad one just for giggles, maybe that’d be fun? It’s not fair! Robin and Nancy use their lives as content! Steve’s life was boring! Maybe it was worth a try, and so, a dumb little morning vlog was in the works.  

-

And okay, so it turns out maybe his subscribers are somewhat interested in his life. How was he supposed to know? He wakes up, answers emails, makes breakfast, works out, and that’s it! It wasn’t anything special. He felt… Boring. 

And yeah, the video did well but he still felt like he fell flat. He was supposed to be funny! So in his fit of doubt, he decides to scroll a little bit. (A bit of mindless scrolling didn't hurt anyone, right?) Wrong, Steve. It hurt a lot of people. But either way, in his attempt to bury his feelings he came across a video titled “Freak Rage Quits and Then Cries,” and Steve was a little apprehensive. He doesn’t really do the bullying, mean girl content, well, at least not like he used to. (He was a different person then). But he clicked on it anyways, and holy shit. He was funny. And really hot. 

And soon enough, Steve fell down a rabbit hole. He couldn’t get enough of this guy, he was cute, and charming, and somehow chaotic in a way that made Steve weak in the knees. (And look, the liking guys thing was relatively new, but the whole ‘attracted to chaos thing’ came out of left field). Well, if he’s being honest, it really didn’t. When he thought he had a crush on Robin it was her chaotic energy that really got to him, which was surprising seeing as his ex before her was very much the opposite. But as it turns out, chaos is like this guys whole brand. Eddie. That’s his name by the way, goes by corrodededdie on twitch, which honestly, fit him perfectly, 

Steve didn’t get the guys subscribing count at first, over 1.5 million (which is almost as many as Steve), but he gets it now. He doesn’t understand how someone could make him fall in love, over video. It was a bit ridiculous, really. Luckily for him, corrodededdie struck the inspiration bucket and Steve fell asleep with some new concepts floating around in his head. And yeah, maybe they were a bit more chaotic than what he usually did but… Oh well. Blame it on his new muse.

—

Eddie grinned as he waved goodbye to the stream, he’d just finished a 12 hour long long haul that he did on a dare because some troll in the chat said he wouldn’t be able to do it. And well, Eddie runs off spite, so of course he made sure to do it, and do it right. 

So here he was, 12 hours later, absolutely exhausted. He’d started the stream at a nice time of 6pm. That meant he’d have to stay streaming and making actual content, not just farting around on his phone, for 12 hours. It seemed easy enough. 

It wasn’t.

Right around the eight hour mark he started to get pretty restless. He’d already played all the games he had within his reach like, twice, and he was honestly really sick of talking about himself, so he made the courageous decision to ask the chat for suggestions on what he should do. (That was especially dangerous since at the time he was doing it, which was 2 am, was the time his especially creepy subscribers like to join and torment him by suggesting really gross stuff. And not like eating dog food gross). But luckily someone in the chat, named ‘dustybun04’ came through for him, suggesting a channel by the title of ‘Steve goes to Hell’ and well. Needless to say, it wasn’t what Eddie was expecting with a name like that. 

It was mainly this guy doing different hair techniques and making weird shit for his cat. He has to be honest, ‘dustybun04’ really disappointed him. He was under the complete impression that this guy was going to be some metal badass that played COD and killed zombies. But… It wasn’t. “Oh come on, dustybun. This guy?” And the chat lit up.

Dustybun04: watch the one where he makes a chees bed for his cat it made me laugh so hard i threw up.

And that caught Eddie’s attention. So there he was, at 2 am, pseudo stalking this guys channel looking for a very specific video. And he makes sure he’s mic'd up so that the stream could catch his candid reaction. “Mr. Piggyyyy, look at what mommy made you,” and Eddie had to pause the video. The guy called himself ‘Mommy’? Oh god, who was this guy? He snorts, looking at the camera like he’s on ‘The Office’ before turning the video back on. And as much as he hates to admit it, he was crying with laughter by the end of the video. 

And so the 12 hour long stream turned into him doing a deepdive review on ‘Steve goes to Hell.’ And he wasn’t disappointed. He could tell that his viewers were ready to move on to something else, but Eddie couldn’t help it. He was just… Enamored with the guy. Eventually though, around the 11 hour mark, Steve ran out of content for Eddie to watch. So he reluctantly decided to bother his best, dear, friend, Nancy. She ran a channel with her girlfriend and they were so disgustingly cute that it almost made Eddie want to barf. He picked up his phone and dialed Nancy, waiting with a mischievous smile on his face. “Eddie? It’s… 5 am, why are you calling me?”

“Say hi to chat!” He cheered, far too loud and excited for the early hour.

“Ugh, Eddie. You’re the worst.”

“You love me, Wheeler.”

“Wha’s goin’ on?” Oh shit. Did he wake up Robin? “It’s just Eddie baby, go back to sleep. You woke up Robin you fucking asshole. I’m going to kill you the next time I see you.” Yep. 

She hung up on him with a huff, “Isn’t she a charmer, folks? Okay…. Let’s see.” Eddie muttered to himself, scrolling mindlessly, looking for something to get him through the last 30 minutes. “Okay… Thirty minute stretch guys. What should we do?” And then it happened. ‘Steve goes to Hell has uploaded a new video.’ “Awh, shit guys. Steve goes to Hell has another video,” He dragged out the ‘o’ far too excited for a channel he just found of a guy he knows virtually nothing about. “Wake up with me? Ew. God, he’s so cheesy. Let’s watch” And it turns out it was actually pretty cute. 

And yup. There it is. Eddie has a new crush on a guy. A guy who happens to look super hot when he wakes up and by definition out of Eddie’s league. He sits and watches silently, enraptured with the way this guy lives his life, waking up so god damned early. As the video comes to an end, so does the 12 hour stream. “Well, shit guys. We did it. Actually, I did it. You guys did nothing. Anyways. It’s been fun. wheeliemike, suck my dick, and fuck you for saying I couldn’t do this. Alright. Thanks for chilling with me!” 

And that brings us up to speed. Eddie slumped back into his gaming chair, breathing out deeply. “Shit. I am never doing that again.” He slid out of his chair and trudged over to his bed, flopping down onto it and groaning loudly. He was just about to succumb to the sweet release of sleep when his phone chimed. ‘Steve goes to hell just subscribed to your channel.’ And oh fuck. Oh fuck, was he watching? Shit. Well. His heart was beating too fast to go to sleep now, may as well instagram stalk the guy. Like all normal people do when they develop a new crush.

[anastasia-queen]

Character Appreciation: Chloe Carmichael from Fairly Oddparents (Proper Character Analysis WIP)

(Note: The discussion you are currently reading is a WIP. As for the reason, I wanted to post something about the subject just in case I lost motivation for this personal project.) Anyways, let's begin this discussion about Chloe Carmichael.

Chloe Carmichael is a heavily misrepresented character across the general or FOP community. She does have a source of misery, which is she is a child who has a sheltered lifestyle and must live up to her parents and other expectations and morals enforced upon her.

As a result of her sheltered life, she has a strong personality that makes socializing with kids difficult. Her conflict is purely internal, not external because her conflict focuses on the psychological effects on her character. The beauty of Chloe's Character is that despite having to enforce a sheltered lifestyle, it's due to that lifestyle from her parents' skewed reality. Chloe can see the beauty of small things and believes there's always a positive direction of thinking or behavior for anyone. She's an optimistic person.

However, due to how her parents unintentionally put their mindset upon their daughter, whether something minor or major that breaks Chloe's perception of reality, she often breaks down or loses it.

Chloe Carmichael is essentially the antithesis of Timmy Turner, Timmy, a child who had a neglectful life as a result of his parents' personal work life, escapades, and oblivious behavior interfering with his need for attention and guidance in his life, which led to him taken advantage of hence characters like Vicky, and Timmy begrudgingly accepts it because he has no one else to go to for help.

As a result of this consistent behavior cycle, Timmy had a very pessimistic outlook on people and life, resulting in Timmy having a noticeable blunt, sarcastic, and partly arrogant behavior in the earlier seasons, especially for Season Zero.

While Timmy and Chloe are both opposites in lifestyles and mannerisms, they also have the same problem of acknowledging both of their feelings ignored by the general public.

While Timmy's situation and source of misery are more noticeable and direct than Chloe's, Chloe is still miserable because she represses her feelings and thoughts of wanting more, to be heard, to be an actual child, for only to follow the morals enforced by her parents. Chloe even admitted in the episode Booby Trapped that she holds her parents and extension their thoughts in high regard. The episode Summer Bummer also amplifies this notion by having the physical manifestation of the inner child in Chloe's mind, saying Chloe is prioritizing the need for education over the liberty of freedom of being a child.

Someone would ask the question. If Chloe has an internal conflict that affects her perception of life, wouldn't that mean Timmy also has an internal conflict? The answer is no. Timmy's conflict is external.

An external conflict is about having a force of nature, like society or a situation set against the main character. Whether natural or not, it must be outside the character's control, which the main character must learn to overcome. Hence, Timmy's reason to have Cosmo and Wanda. Timmy is a child who had a neglectful upbringing outside his control, which led to people mistreating and taking advantage of him, which caused him to have a pessimistic outlook to only have Cosmo and Wanda to help him combat this.

While it's true that the neglectful lifestyle had taken a toll on the perception of the mindset of Timmy and how he interacts and perceives others. The definition of an internal conflict is about the constant inner battles of prioritizing your wants and needs for a set principle. Timmy doesn't have this problem because he doesn't have major internal battles of his identity to qualify. After all, Timmy is a person who suppresses his feelings.

A person who suppresses their feelings is self-aware of their problem. However, they are deliberately making the conscious choice to avoid acknowledging it. As a result, the issue remains unresolved. The only reason why Timmy's problem is being addressed is because of Cosmo and Wanda. Otherwise, Timmy wouldn't have had the inherent ability to do so, thus setting aside his feelings.

In contrast, a person who represses their feelings is not subconsciously aware of their feelings. Hence, Chloe often has an epiphany when her problem is eventually acknowledged.

Someone would probably ask me a question. If Chloe is a child from a sheltered upbringing who deals with the constant repressed inner battles of her parents enforce morals over her needs and wants of being an actual child, which had an unintentional effect of giving Chloe a strong personality that overwhelms or annoys people to be long lasting meaningful friends with her outside the things she can offer as her character conflict. How come no one mentioned this component of Chloe's character?

Well, dear reader, that is because no one thoroughly watched the tenth season outside the first episode and the notorious horrendous episodes of the Flash era. (Specifically, the episodes The Kale Patch Caper, Knitwits, Tardy Sauce, and the most popular contender everyone loves to use to belittle this season and extension of the modern era Fairly Oddparents as a whole, the episode Certified Super Sitter.) If you don't believe me, then go to YouTube and Twitter.

However, not every episode from the Flash era is terrible. Summer Bummer and Fancy Schmancy are relatively decent for Season 10B standards.

(Season 10B is only thirteen episodes across seven episode blocks. Season 10A is 30 episodes across 13 episode blocks.) I mentioned this because there is a noticeable misconception that the Flash era was half of Season 10. (7 out of 37 episodes is approximately 19%.)

Poor episodes that plague the reputation of Season 10A are The Big Fairly Scare Share, Girly Squirrely, and Return of the Losers. (3 out of 30 episodes is approximately 10%. In total this is approximately 29%, a third of the season, which is legitimately poor.) Leaving 71% of Season 10 undiscussed. "Yeah, that is definitely fair".

[bingqiv]

Saw your post about the Doctor's outfits this series and yeah! It's fun to have him change every now and then but every episode is way too much. The Doctor always has An Outfit that's their signature look and it feels so odd not having that immediate recognisable signature. It's such a Thing that we've had scenes of quite a few Doctors picking their outfit post-regeneration.

Even if we look at someone like 12 who changed fits pretty frequently there were always core design elements that remained consistent across the board, so it felt like a cohesive look. His silhouette was basically always the same even when there was a change.

Besides, the Doctor's always been kind of out of place and larger than life so having one outfit sets them apart from everyone around them. As well as being a very good way of distinguishing between each incarnation and giving them a unique identity. Especially as the outfits themselves often give some indication of the kind of Doctor this particular regeneration will be.

Weirdly I think the outfit thing felt most glaring this most recent episode because the Doctor wasn't in it much. We got a whole wardrobe change just for that? I also feel like Ruby has carried over consistent design elements between costumes more than he has...

you’ve literally summed up my thoughts perfectly!

each doctor had a look that stayed somewhat consistent through their run. they had changes throughout their run but it still harked back to their initial fit.

they only introduced a second reoccurring costume for tennant’s doctor during season 3 and even that was just a colour change of the suit, tie and converse. it’s still identifiable as the tenth doctor. even during the 60th anniversary, tennant’s costuming was still very much in line with what ten wore.

with smith’s doctor, they only changed up his costume after the ponds left in season 7. but even then it still has the core elements that defined his costume (and era). they kept the bow tie, kept similar material for the jacket and kept similar boots. it is the same costume just spruced up a bit.

then you have capaldi. they kept a similar colour scheme amongst his different wardrobe changes and kept the silhouette of his jacket the same.

now if we take a look at the different costume changes that gatwa has had over SIX episodes. there’s been no real constancy (there was an attempt with church on ruby road and space babies that hasn’t followed through with the rest of the season). the costume change makes somewhat sense during devil’s chord (if you ignore the fact that the previous two outfits had sixties influences and would’ve made sense in that era). but i just don’t get why had to deviate with entirely different costuming for boom, 73 yards and dot&bubble. especially when the costume that his earlier promo photos had were so cool (the leather coat and striped shirt) and they could’ve had the blue shirt that was worn in space babies as an alternate costume.

i just don’t know why they’ve decided to go down this route since the doctor has always had a defining look that has followed through their seasons. whittaker’s doctor has such little variation in her costuming (which for all the complaining people had was very much a doctor outfit).

and you’re bang on with ruby having a more defining look than the doctor which is an interesting choice that rtd has made. especially as this season only has 8 episodes and we have at least one more outfit change ahead with the regency episode. i just hope they pin down a look for the doctor next season.

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

id love to hear more of your dream prod thoughts! it was really funny reframing the fact that yeah, the emotions probably really do just have authority over everything and anger was Laser Focused on gettin rid of a director that put riley in danger

HIII yes i'd love to talk more about dream prod!! 😁 i'm gonna go ahead and put it all under the cut though, since 1) probably gonna be LONG and 2) i feel like it's too soon to talk about spoilers out in the open dhkjhkjgh. but!! yes anyways

YES god i really loved all of anger's bits in the show. loved how protective he got 🥺 one thing i always found interesting in the first movie was that the long-term workers did not really seem to...care that sadness and joy needed to find a way back to hq? might just be working in long-term that does that to you LMAO!! really fascinating that the guys working in dream productions do defer to the emotions to some extent. in a way emotions themselves are very integral to dreams! and i loved all the little things that showed this, like paula desperately looking for a happy memory to come up with a dream for, or how gigi's nightmares mostly consisted of green and purple orbs (sidenote SIGH i really wish we got to see disgust and fear interact more considering this. especially since even the sleepwalking memory was green and purple, iirc? buuut i digress. NOT just the disear brain talking i promise but maybe also a Little /lh).

also found it very interesting how the machine jean brought in to measure the. "excitement" of the dream is also a bit dependent on emotions i would say? i'm getting real technical here, but i'm wondering how riley could still react to the dream with other emotions who are not on dream duty (and even then, the ones on dream duty aren't using the console...) despite them being asleep...🤔 definitelyyy overthinking this LOLLL but it's very cool to look at the inner workings of dream prod overall! i love that they introduced daydreams in, too...and this sort of worldbuilding of how daydreams are constructed differently compared to dreams at night. really good contrast for the paula xeni rivalry!

SPEAKING of mannn i loved paula and xeni!! WHAT a fun duo. one thing i noticed was that paula's insistence on "fun" dreams and living in the past was an interesting mirror to joy's previous behavior before her character development across both movies...i thiiink this was intentional, and it's fun to see that riley growing up isn't something just the emotions have to adjust to, but everyone else in the mind word as well 🥲 i wasn't expecting to find the paula-xeni dynamic as funny as i did, either. the bit where he steals her boots made me laugh out loud LMAOO. ALSO going to mention mel here too GOD. THE PUPY. I LOVE HERRR...was talking with a friend the other day about how interacting with the personification of a hormone lets you be affected by that hormone...really cool annnd makes sense considering these guys are all brain cells LOL. makes me wonder if hypothetically this could affect emotions too...? hmm!

anywaysss i loved all the callbacks to things from the first movie...i kind of wish there could have been some acknowledgment of how joy and sadness literally broke into dream productions in the first movie since, well. that's a Pretty Significant Thing that happened. BUT it's fine HKJFHG i thought the callback to canadian boyfriend was real fun. i willll say, given both disney and pixar's....not so good reputation with this sorta stuff, i was concerned the romance! episode was gonna be. one of those "See we PROMISE riley isn't gay!!!" sorta things so i'm glad that's not the direction it went in, and that they kept the resolution for that vague. AND i love love that they really played into the romcom element with all the tropes like the love triangle. AND sadness and joy watching it together!!!! MAN. SO CUTE. 🥺 in general i adore how much joy and sadness are just. besties now. they hang out together!! they LIKE hanging out together!! AUGH. ANYWAYS. romance DID end up being my favorite episode of the bunch! joy and sadness appearances obviously. helped with this LMAO but i loooved how it really showcased paula and xeni's strengths as a team. AND I WILL NOT LIE. that sleepwalking scene did kinda stress me out and i am a grown-ass adult. i also always love when real-life phenomena get translated into the mechanics of the mind world. the camera suddenly moving on its own was sooo cool.

i ALSO found it interesting how the characters all seem to have different views of what's best for riley...jean is the antagonist obvs but! interesting that she had a rationale for the dream xeni wrote, kinda "shaming" riley into growing up...even more interesting when you think about how shame was eventually written out of the second movie drafts, AND how anxiety's original character was rewritten a couple of times because it seemed like both of them were "self-sabotaging" riley too much. interesting that jean could somehow fill this role...! i wonder if that concept was carried on into this show.

ALSO. THE LUCID DREAM STUFF!! very cool. i've always been curious about the reality distortion filters. also a cool way to have riley interact with the mind world! i wiiiish we could have seen more of how...the emotions viewed this dream, what they thought of it etc. since their reactions are present for all the other dreams...i'm honestly very curious about Dream Duty in general, especially since it's not mentioned at all in the second movie. i think it would've been cool to kinda explain the details of dream duty in parallel to the dream production process, sorta tie the whole relationship between the emotions and the mind workers at dream prod together a bit more...buuut overall it was fun to see more of dream productions! definitely my favorite place in the mind world out of all the ones we'd seen across both movies. had a fun time overall!! and honestly my favorite thing about worldbuilding in inside out is how many strange hypotheticals it makes you think about LOL. so while i still got criticisms i'm having a fun time with it 😁👍🏾

[weclassybouquetfun]

I have a passing knowledge of Jaime Reyes' Blue Beetle from the character's appearance on SMALLVILLE, BATMAN: THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD and these panels.

Milagro, you are so real for this.

And this is where my true knowledge about Blue Beetle comes from - Ted Kord's Blue Beetle and his friendship with Booster Gold.

Blue & Gold Forever.

So with only knowing the bare minimum about Jaime I was able to watch BLUE BEETLE with no expectations. It's an incredibly vibrant, fun and heartfelt film. I'm concerned at its low box-office showing, but films with bigger leads and bigger budgets have also failed at the box office, or at the very least, didn't recoup it's budget and marketing. There has never been anything that was a guaranteed box office success. I would rather it tried to get eyes in theaters than get lost on HBO Max where it was originally slated for release. Here's hoping National Cinema Day on Aug 27th (where theaters are selling tickets for $4 for all formats) will bring more people to the tent.

Too true.

My thoughts on BLUE BEETLE

Nothing but SPOILERS.

THE GOOD

Xolo Maridueña (COBRA KAI) is a great Jaime. If you have seen Maridueña across these five seasons of COBRA KAI, it's not surprising. He has shown consistently that he can play humour, dutifulness, vulnerable and excel at action.

Big up to COBRA KAI's annual blow-out fight sequence.

Oddly enough, at the end of the film I didn't think we got to know Jaime beyond a cursory level, but I'm sure if they did a deep dive on him I would complain about that too as my issue with origin story films is that so much real estate is given to building up the history of the character, that the plot and action seems relegated to the final act. But I guess BLUE BEETLE gave us all we need to know about Jaime.

Good egg, duty bound, gets hard from hugs (and kudos to this film for actually having a character who gets horny. Comic book films are nearly always a sexless thing, but my guy Jaime pulling his shirt down to cover his crotch after Jenny's (Bruna Marquezine) tale of woe was refreshing.)

-Really liked Jenny Kord. She wasn't the typical damsel in distress. She's formidable in her own right. She and Jaime doesn't feel rushed or shoehorned in. I especially loved the fact that they didn't just make her the love interest,

Though she and Xolo are great together,

but also gave her - in the Reyes - a new family. If she and Jaime were to go pear-shaped we can just know that Jenny still has a place within the Reyes clan.

-We have not one, but two new members to the Legion of Great DCEU Family Members. Joining the mom and dad of SHAZAM, AQUAMAN's dad, THE FLASH's mom is BLUE BEETLE's Alberto Reyes (Damián Alcázar) and Nana Reyes (the Oscar nominated Adriana Barraza).

Still waters run deep and Nana proved that. She's not just up in her room sewing and watching reruns of "María la del Barrio". She is sitting back waiting to showcase her experiene while fighting in the revolution.

And Alberto Reyes! He was this film's King T'Chaka. Always with a wise word, strong, caring. I hate that he had to die and I think it's a worn out trope that a hero has to suffer loss in order to come into their greatness, but it worked. Long Live Alberto Reyes!

Just enough George Lopez to not be annoying. He's funny, but only in small doses IMO so he was just good enough and used well enough that it wasn't eye-rolling. I really loved that he wasn't just there for the obvious comic relief, instead Uncle Rudy is a brain.

The opening along had me hyped. It set the tone and it lent to idea of the scarab being from space, but the inclusion of a classic Blue Beetle comic sketch just ::chef's kiss:

-Director Ángel Manuel Soto listed which stories he pulled from for this film,

but I see a lot of BATMAN: THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD episode "Fall of the Blue Beetle" in the bits where they go to Ted Kord's home/lab.

-The way they took OMAC/Kevin Kho backstory and merged it with Carapex's. In the comics OMAC was a Cambodian child of war, in this film Ignacio/Carapex was left an orphan and trained by the School of the Americas (rebranded Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation) whose training manuals advocated tortuing and blackmailing civilians. Using Kord Industries as not just a amorphous shady big tech corp, BLUE BEETLE's writer Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer and Soto tied Kord Industries to the realties of what big corporations are doing globally.

This ties into another thing I loved about the film - it had a strong cultural identity. From Nana using Vivaporú (Vicks Vapor Rub) as smelling salts to rouse Jamie, to El Chapulín Colorado(!!!).

The idea of gentrification that affects people across colour lines and specifically targets people of lower income.

The full integration of Jaime and Khaji-Da being exemplified by Khaji-Da (voiced by singer/actor Becky G) speaking Spanish.

THE BAD

-Is there someone with less screen prescence than Susan Sarandon? I don't know how she was ever a thing. I guess they needed a "name" but there several other actors like Anjelica Huston or Sigourney Weaver who would have done something more with that role. Carla Gugino. Anyone else!

-The establishing CGI of Kord Entrerprises was basura. There was a tangible change in F/X as if mid way through post-production they found out WB-Discovery was moving it to theatrical release and they effects crew got a cash infusion.

-While I came around on the character towards the end, I wasn't a fan of Milagro. Glad they aged her up but she fell into the trope of annoying movie sibling and it grated.

THE REST

-Harvey Guillen's character died in the film (good!) and he appears to be dead again on HARLEY QUINN (not good. There is no way Nightwing's death sticks).

-Soto and James Gunn says that Jaime has a future in the DCU. While an interview snippet is making the rounds where Soto says he would like Jason Sudeikis (TED LASSO) to play Ted Kord, I don't really believe that is true as the source is from an online site I'm not familiar with and people lie for clicks.

Yes, Buster. All. The. Time.

-While comics! Jaime lives in El Paso, Texas, film! Jaime lives in Palmera City - on El Paso St. - which was created for the film (and appeared in the comics months ahead in a tie-in). Soto found inspiration in Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico. But I wonder what Palmera City's real-world city will be when James Gunn finishes the DC Map that he say is being redone. Maybe because over the years Metropolis has been Chicago/Delaware/New York.

Metropolis is not in Delaware, GTFOH.

[utilitycaster]

1/2 What I find gets glossed over so much for "pretty lesbians kiss" with regards to Laura and Marisha's characters is that they consistently, across all main campaigns, create characters who really Do Not Understand each other. Like, it's most obvious with Vex and Keyleth (which is why it's so baffling to me how popular that ship is, Vex basically cringes every other time Keyleth opens her mouth and barely tolerates her for the majority of the campaign), but it's clear with Jester and Beau too

2/2 too, especially in regards to their relationships with their respective fathers and also Jester's relationship with Artagan, that they have drastically different viewpoints that aren't really compatible. Anyway, it's somewhat interesting that, while their characters Do Not Understand each other in equal measure across all campaigns, they are outwardly much closer in each subsequent campaign. Do you have any thoughts on this or have had any similar observations regarding this?

Hi anon,

I definitely do have thoughts about this. I don’t think it’s been intentional, per se, that their characters have never been entirely aligned but they’ve become closer (ie, I don’t think that they planned for their characters to be at such odds in Campaign 1, to be friends in Campaign 2, and to be romantically involved in Campaign 3). I also should note that while I agree that Vex/Keyleth is a uniquely terrible ship that deeply misunderstands both characters; and while I vastly prefer both Beauyasha and Fjorester to even a hypothetical in which Beau and Jester took the time to understand each other and a believable and compelling romance could conceivably develop, I do actually enjoy both of those as non-romantic dynamics very much. Part of the problem with Imogen and Laudna is that, at least thus far, the problems with it as a romantic relationship are the exact same problems with it as a platonic relationship. It's flat and uninteresting no matter how you slice it.

As for why this has happened: I think Marisha and Laura’s chemistry with each other as scene partners is unexceptional among the cast. That doesn’t mean it’s bad - everyone in the cast has baseline good chemistry - but it has never stood out to me. Like, I have never personally had strong feelings about any romantic ships between Laura and Sam’s characters, but they do often occupy similar thematic spaces (selfishness/selflessness; a desire to be liked vs. a desire to be yourself) and I have always enjoyed how they’ve played off each other and looked forward to it, and I don't feel the same about Laura and Marisha. While it’s hard to pin a theme on Laudna (more on that later), Beau and Keyleth (and for that matter Patia) all engage with the expectations of one’s family, and that doesn’t have a natural “in” with what Laura usually does (or vice versa). I will also note: many of the best scenes between Laura and Marisha’s characters, and that includes in Campaign 3, have been arguments. The gnarlrock stands out as one of the only interesting Imogen and Laudna interactions (as well as, to be honest, one of the only interesting Laudna and Delilah interactions); Vex yelling at Keyleth in episode 1x45 is one of my favorite scenes in the campaign; and when I think of Beau and Jester I think of Beau’s irritation as Jester gushes about the plot of Tusk Love, and their quietly growing distance due to the disagreements you brought up about Artagan and their fathers (while still remaining good friends, just ones who don’t agree on everything and don’t need to) in the latter half of the campaign. The lack of conflict between Imogen and Laudna is not just uninteresting from the general grade school premise of "stories need conflict"; it's also depriving them of their strongest source of chemistry as actors.

As for why it’s so widely shipped across all three campaigns; I really suspect a major factor is simply that Ashley was frequently absent so this was the only F/F PC/PC option, week to week. There really is no other good explanation for Vex and Keyleth, a couple so terribly unsuited it verges on the dynamic of a 90s straight sitcom of a man who hates his hot wife. I used to be more generous towards that (ie, wanting an F/F ship between PCs even though it had no redeeming qualities other than being an F/F ship between PCs), but my patience for anyone claiming the cover of Campaign 1 norms ran out some time ago; we’ve been living in a fandom environment that overshot in trying to correct for the assholes during C1 for far too long.

Anyway: I don’t know why exactly things fall so flat in Campaign 3, in the sense that these characters were, as far we know, supposed to be designed as friends. I don’t want to keep harping on it but given Laudna’s directionlessness I wonder if that lack of lived-in backstory extends to their time together. At the very least, if they did plan out what those two years looked like in any depth, it has not come through in the story, either through their words or to an extent their acting. The relationship really only makes sense as mutual security blankets; but I don’t find that remotely interesting. Which brings me to the final points.

I’ve been trying to tread carefully around the term “roving slash” not in the least because I think it unfairly condemns queer relationships after quite literally centuries of mediocre and tacked-on M/F relationships that occur simply because one is a man and one is a woman and not because there’s any romantic tension or reason for them to see something in the other. With that said, I’ve found that there’s a lot of fandom popular F/F pairings that fit a very specific mold of each other being the only one who understands the other - but in a bland and flawless way, as victims of circumstance who expect nothing of each other except to be there, and not as people who can uniquely relate to each other’s flaws. It is an idea of romance as something without conflict. [I will note as an aside, however, that this idea often exists simultaneously with the incompatible desire to tell queer stories based in oppression. There can't be any stated desire from these fans for conflict for the characters, internal or external; but I also think that they secretly want some third character to represent a nebulous, problematic force. For all the hate piled upon, say, Percy in his interactions with Keyleth, or the current wave of hate towards Orym, I think they want those characters so there is something to demonize and to further set apart how pure and wronged their ship or their favorite character is; and, as always, to take away the agency - which comes with responsibility, which comes with fault - from women.]

I can’t stand that. As others have recently put better than I could (and we’re talking Cronenberg and Tolstoy here), stories need conflict, and the fandom culture of characters being effortlessly good, and going from traumatized to completely unchallenged, and endless softness is unbearably dull to me. Even things claimed to be held in the highest regard, like recovery, must hit the most pinprick target by fans with this mindset and anything else is a failure. It’s exhausting. For Imogen and Laudna’s relationship specifically, I’ve found that the repeated comparisons of past Laura Bailey Character Romances - both of which are my favorites for their respective campaigns - really puts the flaccidness in her Campaign 3 romance in stark relief. With Percy and Vex, there is a sense that if he does not take the mask off when she calls him darling, it will close a door. I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that they only come together romantically after she has faced some of her own inner darkness with Saundor, and he has defeated Orthax and the party has helped kill Ripley. Similarly, with Fjord and Jester, when Jester asks “would you do anything to get them [his Uk’otoa-granted powers] back?”, there is a palpable sense that were he to have answered “yes”, it would have meant something. And they, too, only commit to a romance once Fjord has done all he can to sever his ties to Uk’otoa, and Jester has begun to slowly explore expressing negative emotions. To compare it to Imogen and Laudna’s noncommittal total lack of narrative tension (maybe we should harness it! Maybe we shouldn’t! Doesn’t really matter because we’ve stated there’s zero stakes either way!) just accentuates the Mariana Trench-level drop in quality.

That digresses a lot from your original question, and so I think what I want to get at is that I have shared these observations. However, I feel that the characters’ differences were well-handled in prior campaigns and felt organic and interesting. I don’t know why it’s so lacking in Campaign 3 and I don’t think my speculation here would be helpful to any argument; I just know that it is exceptional only in its dullness.

[jade-marie]

Just coming from your READ about Beth's priviledge/desire for power which btw was SPOT ON and it got me thinking....any thoughts on the line Beth delivers on the bench "Wait your turn, he'll share" [directed at her daughter but obviously applies to her situation]. Apologies if this was already discussed. I just began my GG viewing a few weeks ago lol

Hey! I’m probably not the best person to reply to you on this one bc I literally haven’t watched a second of that show since it ended (if anyone has any input, please feel free lmao). P.s. this is probably gonna be a bit word salad-y because my adhd meds are wearing off 🤣

Anyhoo, I haven’t actually been asked about that line before, so it was interesting to think about! I think it was supposed to be a callback to 2x03 when Marcus wants to go on the monkey bars - Rio turns it into a teachable moment, tells him to wait his turn “when that kid’s done, you’ll get your turn”. This is also when he’s decided to teach Beth and the same episode he gives her the keys to the kingdom.

There’s definitely a difference in how Rio and Beth chose to deliver this message to their kids imo. Maybe it’s me but it feels like Beth’s wording (especially in the context of Beth and crime) was more encouraging her daughter to wait at the table for scraps - she’s banking on this other kid sharing, in the same way Beth wasted her entire life on Dean, hoping he’d amount to something. Whereas Rio was telling Marcus to tough it out for a little while, wait til the other kid was done, and then it’ll be his turn.

Beth, in that final scene, is just peak arrogance. She’s so infuriatingly smug, calling herself Rio’s boss. She probably genuinely believes that the message she’s giving her daughter applies to her situation, that she’s earned her current position. It’s a pretty solid example of her entitlement, across the board, because she truly thinks she’s been patient and now she’s reaping the reward.

It’s a good reflection of how she always used Rio as a surrogate for Dean too. She sat around for 20 years, took care of the kids, the house, Dean etc and sacrificed her own ambitions in the process but Dean never rewarded her for that. Dean squandered their finances, cheated on her and then dumped her but rather than hold Dean accountable, she punishes Rio. That stays consistent throughout the show.

Waiting for Dean to share ended up being a waste of her life, but she still doesn’t see it because Rio is once again paying the price for Dean’s ineptitude. She wasn’t given her turn, she stole it. She shot Rio, burned his cash business, screwed him over in every way possible, then declared herself his boss when they finally got rid of Nick.

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E9 & S5E10 thoughts

Well, I liked it!

The biggest loser here is Episode 9 because all my thoughts are so occupied by the finale that I can't say much about the previous episode which wasn't even bad. So just three quick things:

Finally I get some good fucking food (The Guide content).

"I'm… going…to kill you… Guillermo" gave me CHILLS.

Guidja real.

Now, to Episode 10:

Didn't notice the previous episode how feral Nandor was filmed, his face all darkened except for a beam of light on his furious eyes, good and classic vampire shit!

Nadja Detective Policeman visiting Guillermo in that outfit😩

Wow, Guillermo treating Derek bad after all he did for him really make the point across that he's a shitty person.

There's something so 😙👌 about Nandor going back to Panera, always love a full circle moment.

I don't care about Patton Oswald as a comedian or person due some disgusting shit he pulled years ago, so sadly I couldn't enjoy his scenes with Nandor that much. I loved that after the whole conversation he still killed him tho. I read someone in the tags paralleling this scene to Guillermo and Meg in S3E2, and I fully agree with that interpretation.

Laszlo helping Guillermo and apologizing…😭 He loves him! I would love to see more of how Laszlo feels about his "frustrations" (his innability to help Guillermo, the impotency of seeing Colin grow up and not remember him). That's something that should be explored better next season imo.

Him trying to have a serious conversation but keep getting distracted by the porn is me trying to watch this show as a dumb comedy but getting distracted by the nandermo of it all.

All the vampires visiting him with dumb excuses was so cute. I wish I never see those creatures ever again tho.

Ahhhh Nandor calling Guillermo from his mother in law mom's house was some psycho shit. Also it remind me a bit of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when Spike visits Buffy's mom just to taunt her. Imagine Nandor pulling this shit:

(Silvia immediately stakes him of course).

"My friend, Patton Oswalt, he passed away". The solemn way he says it as if he wasn't the culprit 😭.

The moment of Guillermo putting the stake on Nandor's neck was an explicit sex scene for me and for everyone with good taste.

On the opposite side, Nandor helping Guillermo with the red cape is SO SOFT, it's all about being equals this time.

The Djinn… oof… as someone who was begging for his appearance since the beginning of the season, this stunt left me cold… sorry but everything that starts with "it happened off screen" it's bad writing. It's giving "Daenerys kind of forgot…" level of bad.

Didn't like that suddenly Nandor is smarter than the others (specially if we come from an episode when Laszlo called him 'a fuckin idiot' for not getting the Guide reveal).

I already mentioned this in a post I made last night, but I'll repeat it verbatim here, because I stand by it:

I don't believe FOR A SECOND that Laszlo didn't try to feed Guillermo human blood 🤔 Remember when Nadja on s1 went on an entire mission to help Jenna to complete her transformation? (hey everybody, remember Jenna?) How Guillermo 'all my life I dreamed of being a vampire' did not know that piece of lore??

"Guillermo can't kill people" Umm whoever decided to go on this direction, I recommend them this show on FX called What we do in the shadows it's very good! (when consistent).

I…. don't trust that "Guillermo is not cut to be a vampire" stuff… sounds like retcon… BUT! I love the "Guillermo is not cut to be a vampire YET, specially if he isnt sired by Nandor" interpretation.

From the beginning I had this hunch that Guillermo's longing for a family and community (I'm not saying he dislikes his bio family, but obviously he grow up distant from them, probably for being queer and feeling like "an outsider") was a reason for being so desperate to become a vampire. Now that he has the family (bio AND chosen) and the community, it's his time to think if he STILL wants to be vampire or not (and he said at the fake ceremony that he still wants it 😌).

Lmao Guillermo's beard... that thing... didn't look like it was growing from Harvey's face.

🗣️HE 🗣️KEPT 🗣️THE 🗣️GLASSES!!!

More Derek! And with better make up than that ashy talcum powder nightmare from Episode 1!! WTF they got rid of another character of color again??!! Benedict Wong what are you doing here???!!! Yay??????

I really like that Topher is a "functional" zombie in comparison with his state in S2E1, it makes sense with the zombies we saw on the original movie.

Still weird that we end the episode and season here, with Derek happy ending?

HOT take but I like that it didn't end on a cliffhanger, considering that we don't know the state of the show post strikes yet AND after s4 I don't trust this people with cliffhangers ever again lol.

Now that the season is finished I came to realize Nadja's entire arc AGAIN was a big 'ol nothing, huh? The hex, her Antipaxos found family, the little stunt as a teacher, literal "throw at the wall and see what it sticks". I'm sorry but I'll repeat: WWDITS learn how to write women challenge.

Excited to see how Guillermo and Nandor's relationship will develop from now on, I know some people are frustrated but as someone who is used to slow burns being SLOW this is my shit. I joke a lot about the pairing but also I understand that this is the shit&farts show first, nandermo nation second (unlike some people that appears they only consume and rate media depending on how much kissy kissy is on the screen).

From 1 to 10, I'll give this season a 7. Not that good as my god tier seasons (S2 is a 9, S3 is a 10), but not so bad as S4.

What I want next season:

Guillermo NEEDS to be a Bad Bitch again: slaying vampires like the Van Helsing he is, being gay af, not being scared to sass out Nandor, etc.

Laszlo and Colin NEED to have a real talk.

Consistency.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEARN HOW TO WRITE FOR NADJA I'M ON MY KNEES AT THIS POINT!!!

[yukidragon]

Hey yuki, I have a question...actually two questions about the game something's wrong with sunny day jack. First: how did jack not find out about ian during these months that he's been with Sunshine? after all, her cell phone WOULD NOT STOP ringing because of ian's constant calls and voicemails, how come jack didn't hear about ian well before the middle of the demo?

Second: And do you think the protagonist has a certain "emotional dependency"? because even if she doesn't forgive ian for what he did to her, she supposedly misses him, yes, because when jack asked if she missed him, she is kind of silent, I interpreted that as a "Yes" . What's more, we already know that she doesn't feel good when it comes to the subject of "Love".

Before I answer your questions, I’d like to take the time to make sure this lovely picture is credited to the game’s creator Sauce. Even though I didn’t post it this time, I always want to make sure they get due credit for their hard work.

Anyway, onto your first question. It’s a pretty good one. In fact, MC wonders about that topic in the demo as well:

Did I ever tell Jack about Ian? Now that I’d thought about it…The subject really hadn’t come up formally. Which. Is a bit odd, considering Ian’s room remained (mostly) undisturbed, and right across the hall from my own. It was same as it had always been, minus what he took with him when he moved to a fancy performing arts school in another state… I hadn’t been in there since the breakup. But had Jack never wondered either?

It seems as though Jack was waiting for MC to bring the topic up. By not prying into their personal business (at least not obviously) he can be supportive and a good friend, earning their trust.

However, it seems those messages from Ian and seeing his room and clothing every day didn’t affect MC like talking to him directly on the phone did. It was such a painful incident that Jack is clearly worried about them. Maybe he was waiting for MC to talk about Ian on their own, but after seeing how much pain Ian put MC through, it’d be reason for him to push a little harder in order to relieve them of this pain.

Of course, I’m pretty sure Jack would have done his own research into Ian, so to speak. He wants to show only his best sides to his sunshine, so anything that might be less than pleasant is something that is best left where they can’t see it. It’s for their own good of course!

Jack might have already gone through Ian’s room on his own. Heck, MC could have let Jack sleep in Ian’s room until they started sharing a bed platonically. It’s really up to interpretation if the game doesn’t specify how the first few months of their living situation went.

So, yeah, I’m pretty sure Jack already had at least some idea about Ian before he officially brings up the topic; he was just being considerate to MC’s privacy... at least as far as they know.

For the second question... I think that’s heavily hinted in the demo. Though MC is trying their best to abandon all things nostalgic in a reckless manner, likely to try and abandon their feelings for Ian... they still live in the place they got together. Ian’s room has been (presumably) untouched. Most of their wardrobe consists of Ian’s clothes. Given how desperate their financial situation is, he might still be paying for half (or more) of the rent. They still listen to the messages and haven’t blocked him.

There was also the conversation MC and Ian had. MC is angry and hurt, but they didn’t hang up right away. They didn’t yell or say anything that would push Ian away. They made their anger clear, and they voiced their doubts that he can fix things between them... but they’re not ending things completely.

Part of it, I think, is because of Ian’s pleading. They have a history together. They know each other better than anyone. They are in tune with each other, as the afterlife episode showed. They understand each other.

Which makes it so, so much easier for Ian to manipulate MC’s emotions.

It might not be conscious on his part... but the things Ian says in the phone calls are pretty manipulative. It’s understandable since he doesn’t want to lose MC. He claims he needs them and can’t go on without them. He’s emotionally dependent on them.

I think, to some extent, Ian and MC had an underlying level of unhealthy co-dependency going on. Now, how much there is depends on the specific MC and our own headcanons, but we can see in the game from how much talking to him and thinking about him hurts MC... They want to move on, but they miss him.

Ian was MC’s only relationship, and we see some troubling things from MC when it comes to love, mostly in how they feel they’re not deserving. Maybe that’s just from the betrayal they experienced when the person they loved and trusted most cheated on them... or maybe it hints at an underlying toxicity to their relationship.

When Jack asked MC if they missed Ian, that silence was absolutely a yes. I think it was also them not wanting to miss him. They want to move on, but Ian won’t let them.

I think what Ian did to MC is a big part of why MC clings to Jack so desperately in any route. They are lonely and felt bad for so long... and Jack came to make them feel good. He supports them, makes them happy, and fills the hole in their heart that Ian left behind.

Whether or not Jack is a rebound though or can become something healthier though depends on the route taken in the end in the game. I know which one I’m going with for Sunshine in Hell because I like the idea of two flawed and wounded individuals helping each other heal and grow stronger together.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur